WA
Discworld 2

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Act 1

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From a high vantage point the camera pans across the Great Hall of Unseen University. A massive banquet has obviously been going on for days. Drunken wizards are sprawled at irregular intervals throughout the food. The reason (or at least excuse) for the feast becomes apparent when we see mounted prominently on the central table a coffin containing the still-alive body of an elderly wizard (Windle Poons).

It seems that it is Windes appointed time of Death. Death should come any time now. After some celebration Windle kicks the bucket and his soul tries to fly away, but must remain anchored to his body until Death arrives. This does not happen. Instead we see Windle Poons sit bolt upright in the coffin, much to the delayed amazement of all those wizards sober enough to notice. Windle gets up and strides out of the room, casting the door aside with a magic bolt that any wizard in the High Energy facility would be proud to adopt, and muttering something about not being able to wait around forever for slack public servants....

Understandably annoyed at this interruption to an otherwise great knees-up, the few remaining cognizant wizards start to voice their complaints about this latest turn of events and all the other strange events happening in the city. Finally, an irritated Archchancellor decides that enough is enough and that Death must be brought to account over his tardiness in performing what is really a rather simple service. It is thus decided that the Rite of AshkEnte must be performed.

The Archchancellor calls out for Rincewind, who pops up out of a nice pile of bangers and mash looking quite bewildered. The Archchancellor gives Rincewind a scroll containing details on the Rite of AshkEnte, and tells him to collect the necessary components. The game is now on. During this act a series of cut scenes will build up a main plot thread connecting Rincewind and the Death of Rats. The first few times that the Grim Squeaker appears, Rincewind will barely notice him (or at least try to barely notice him). Eventually the little rat will manage to strike up a conversation, which unfortunately for Rincewind seems to consist mainly of squeaks with the odd little menacing snigger thrown in. Seeing the futility in this the rat reappears later with a raven, which acts as translator. It turns out that the Death of Rats is trying to explain that the reason for all this chaos is that Rincewind has inadvertantly taken out Death so to speak. Rincewind of course takes a lot of convincing on this latest point. However, the rat is persistant and explains that the only way to restore the natural balance is for Rincewind to take over Deaths job. The mere mention of work is guaranteed to set Rincewind running in the opposite direction at olympic qualifying speed, so this point really does take a bit of effort to hammer home. Anyway, after he has been caught again, Rincewind makes it clear that rather than work, he will personally get Death back online, giving the player a second reason to find Death - the first being the Archchancellors bidding of course.

In actuality, all that is needed to summon Death is three pieces of wood and four ccs of mouse blood, but the scroll does mention that other items such as dribbly candles, glitter dust and a hideous vile smell come in real handy as atmosphere and mood enhancers (hopefully Deaths). This act is really quite a simple warm-up act, so unlike the first game there is no banana or book collecting or even finger waggles to get out of gates. Every location within the walls of Ankh-Morpork is available for exploration. Of course to keep things managable for the players there are not a lot of locations in this act. Ankh-Morpork has itself been declared a plague city and the city gates are sealed and will not be opened during this game. Interested players will probably find a way out of town in act II if they try the docks.

All locations in this act are new to previous Discworld players, even those in Unseen University. To match the general Death-based scenario this act is played at night. The streets of Ankh-Morpork are different from those in the first game. Morpork resembles more the streets in Jabberwocky. With Death not doing his job, there are undead, vampires, zombies, ghouls and all sorts of other paranormal creatures to be found. The Dead Rights Society has been formed. A cart collecting dead (and quite often alive) bodies is getting the best business they've seen in years. Mrs Cake makes her first appearance in a Discworld game (precognition turned on of course). Rincewind will need to explore all locations within the city walls to find the components for the rite of AskhEnte.

Glitter dust

Instead of the Town Square of the first game, this games main meeting place is the new clickie theatre, The Odium. In this act the player cannot get inside, but there is a little action outside. Dibbler is selling things as per usual, and the milkmaid (now calling herself Marilyn) is promoting her new clickie Trolls Prefer Blondes. Like the real Marilyn Monroe, our milkmaid is wearing a sequined gown. The sequins would obviously make great glitter dust. Observant players will also note that she is standing over a sewer grate (strangely reminiscient of a subway grate). What the player must do is find a way into the sewers, and then by using a bellows under the grate, re-enact the famous scene out of The Seven Year Itch and in the process collect all the sequins that he needs.

Bellows

These are found in the High Energy Facility of Unseen University.

Sewer Entrance

The entrance is under the rubble of the blown up Fools Guild. The player will need to search the rubble first, so as to expose the entrance.

Three pieces of Wood

It is made clear by Rincewind that these 3 pieces of wood must be of equal length. They turn out to be the three croquet mallets in the University garden. These mallets are being used by the Bursar, the Dean and the Librarian in a game of croquet/crazy golf, a sort of take-off of a scene in Alice in Wonderland. The solution is also based loosely on Alice. Rincewind must sneakily swap something for each mallet. These things are a stuffed flamingo, a live wading bird and a hammerhead shark.

Flamingo

This is just to get the player going. It is readily found in the Wandering shop.

Wading Bird

This is constantly hovering around the docks, quite obviously looking for fish. Simply get a fish and throw it at the bird or on the water. The bird dives at it and knocks itself out on the water.

Fish

The fish to get the wading bird is a stuffed fish which can be purchased with the stuffed flamingo.

HammerHead Shark

Again found at the docks, this and an assortment of fish are in a net held high on a hook on one of those crane-arm things. Rincewind must cut the net with a knife. This results in a cascade of fish hitting the ground, slithering to the water and burrowing in. The hammerhead is just to big however.

Knife

This is found in the slops trough in the mortuary.

Four ccs of Mouse Blood

The mouse blood is obtained by wearing a vampires false teeth and sucking the blood out of a mouse and then putting it in a graduated test tube. The mouse remains in the luggage, but occasionally turns into a vampire mouse (rather like a vampire bat really).

False Teeth

In the bar (the Trolls Head), a vampire can be seen drinking the Discworld version of Bloody Marys. Players might be tempted into trying to get the drinks, but this is not mouse blood. However, via general conversation Rincewind can learn that the vampire always spends his time drinking until dawn arrives at which time he goes to bed. Now, if the player visits the cemetary, he will find a crypt with this particular vampires name on it. Inside it is an empty coffin with a glass of water beside it. Having noticed the vampires rather obvious teeth, any reasonably intelligent Kevin should assume that he puts his false teeth in the glass before he goes to bed. Rincewind will need to use a ladder to reach the coffin however. Now, as having a pair of vampire false teeth should sound like a good idea to most people, it then comes down to getting the vampire to go to bed. This means making him think that dawn has arrived. This is accomplished by making a rooster crow behind him.

Rooster

In the University gardens a very cocky rooster can be found, although catching it is another matter. Rincewind can only manage to chase it around in circles through one of Bloody Stupid Johnsons garden mazes (a vertical one), in a direct spoof the The Road Runner cartoons. To catch it, he must give it some corn pre-soaked in alcohol (Road Runner style, ie. pile of corn with sign, etc). If Rincewind forgets to use alcohol, the rooster always defeats him. After being caught, a secondary problem arises because the rooster is now too drunk to crow correctly (doodle cock, doodle wossname), and must be given some coffee to sober it up.

Corn

This is the do it your self banging grain or popcorn which can be purchased from Dibbler.

Alcohol

Found in the Trolls Head if you dare risk it. Just buy a drink.

Coffee

The beggars at Beggars Bridge have a pot on the fire, but how does one beg a cup of coffee from a beggar? Easy, what these guys could do with is some grog. The player may have previously (ie. before using it on the rooster) tried to give them the alcohol (which excited them no end), but Rincewind refused to waste it on them. Anyway, all Rincewind has to do is soak the alcohol saturated rooster in the coffee pot, thus sobering it up and putting some grog into the coffee at the same time.

Mouse

This game features one of Ankh-Morporks more famous eateries - Gimlets. All variety of mouth-watering rat and mouse dishes can be sampled. The player must resist all the wonderful cordon bleu dishes and order a mouse burger done rare (which is basically two pieces of dwarven bread with the nearest live rodent plonked in the middle). Rincewind now has a mouse (assuming he isnt actually hungry enough to eat it).

Test tube

This can be found in the High Energy Facility of Unseen University. It is one of the tubes in the ant based computer in the corner. Of course, taking this tube lets some of the bugs out.

Ladder

This can be traded from Casanunder in the Trolls Head. He will part with it if Rincewind supplies him with the name of a woman that he has yet not conquered, one close to the ground (Granny Weatherwax, once Rincewind comes across her).

Dribbly candles

Randomly wandering around the town map is what is loosely termed a Wandering Shop, this meaning that nobody has really noticed it before now. It does however change corner every so often as if reality is a little forgetful at times. In this game it is a really useful place to shop. It sells all sorts of wonderful magical and esoteric items for adventurers. The player will undoubtedly go in and ask for some candles, but to his dismay the mysterious little shopkeeper will inform him that due to all this strangeness going on at the moment, there has been a rush on candles and there are none to be bought in the whole town. The shopkeeper does however tell Rincewind that if he were to bring him some raw material then he would be happy to make some candles. Upon being asked, he tells Rincewind that common candles can be made from whale fat and more aristorcratic ones can be made from bees wax. Not having a great deal of access to whales, Rincewind naturally decides on the aristorcratic route. There is a sting in this puzzles tail however (no pun intended). Just to irritate players, Rincewind will test the candles after the shopkeeper makes them, only to find that they are not dribbly. This is obviously a disaster. Anyway after a few choice comments from the shopkeeper on just how bees produce wax - from their sweat -Rincewind must go off and figure out to make the bees sweat more feverishly than usual. This is accomplished by putting some Klatchian chillie powder on the blossums that the bees are collecting pollen from.

Bees Wax

In this game the player has access to parts of Unseen University previously inaccessible. One such area is the gardens, that marvel of misdesign created by Bloody Stupid Johnson. In one corner of the garden are the bee hives. Rincewind must first get rid of the bee hive keeper, and then find a net to hang off his hat and finally use smoke to numb the bees before stealing the wax.

Getting rid of the beekeeper

As with the blacksmith, all that is required here is one of Dibblers brochure on do-it-yourself clickies. The beekeeper cant wait to tell the world about bees.

Brochure

Dibbler will hand one over if you talk to him at the Odium.

Smoke

This is incense bought at the Wandering Shop. Just pick it up.

Net

This is the petticoat off the manequin in Mrs Cakes shop. Just tear it off with bare hands.

Dribbly Wax

The bees are continually going from the hive to some flowers nearby. Rincewind must put the chilli powder on these flowers.

Chilli Powder

Along with ketchup, this is a condiment at Gimlets. It can be easily picked up.

Vile smell

This is Foul Ole Rons smell, a manifestation loosely attached to Ron. Rincewind will notice (and talk about) the fact that the smell has a fetish for footwear - the smellier the better. Rincewind can get a pair of smelly imps boots. He can also get a genie bottle, which the player should immediately associate with the smell (it resembles a genie if anything). It will even come down and sniff at the bottle if it is held up. However, to catch the smell, Rincewind must put the imps boots into the bottle first. The smell will then go inside and the bottle can be corked.

Imps Boots

The imp is in the dovecote in the university garden. It taunts Rincewind and his clearly out of his reach. The clue is that not only are its boots smelly, but that they also have metal soles. The solution is that Rincewind can use a magnet to get the boots off the imp.

Magnet

Found lying about at the High Energy Facility.

Genie Bottle

This can be found at Mrs Cakes. However, before the player can talk to her, he must realise that she has her precognition turned on. This means that she is replying before a given question is asked. The player must choose the appropriate question to her last answer, otherwise she will get impatient and give up. The correct sequence is in the dialogue. Once questioned about the genie bottle, it turns out that she will only swap it for a fresh supply of ectoplasm (she has run out and all reputable mediums need it).

Ectoplasm

Mrs Cake explains that highly confused or dizzy ghosts will spew the stuff out. The only ghost around is that of the Fool and Chucky, haunting the demolished Fools Guild. The trick is to catch this pair and make them dizzy.

Catching the Ghosts

Rincewind will try everything but all to no avail. The fool says that he is condemned to hanut the rubble and stones of the guild, and has no choice in the matter. He would leave if only there was a way. The way is in fact quite simple. Rincewind should hold up one of the loose bricks from the rubble and tell the fool that this brick is part of the guild and therefore he can haunt it. Hence Rincewind gets the fool and Chucky. They now haunt a brick in the luggage.

Making the Fool and Chucky Dizzy

There will have been enough clues to indicator that a good idea would be to place the ghosts in the thaum accelerator at the High Energy Facility. This results in the pair of them spinning around constantly. They initially spew forth masses of green ectoplasm all over Rincewind.

Act 2

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There are certainly enough clues to indicate that Death is on the XXXX continent. Rincewind must travel, at times occasionally repelling any suggestions from the Death of Rats that he should accept fate and become Death. The game is quite sequential at this point. Rincewind must get out of Ankh-Morpork.

Getting out of ankh-morpork

The ship at the docks will carry people out of Ankh-Morpork on one condition, that being that they are certified dead! Hence Rincewind must get a death certificate and present it to the dead cart collector in the Shades. The collector will then wack Rincewind on the head and toss him on the cart. We then cut to the docks where we see Rincewinds corpse flung on deck with the other bodies from the cart.

Death Certificate

This is obtained at the mortuary. Rincewind must fool the mortician, who checks each corpse for breath, pulse and body temperature. Once Rincewind has been pronounced not-alive, the death certificate is attached to his foot (a real footnote so to speak). Rincewind then can get up and walk out.

Breath

This is the first test. The mortican holds a mirror to Rincewinds mouth. Rincewind should heat the morticians mirror so has it wont show his breath. This is done by using it with the bunsen burner on the bench.

Pulse

This is the second test. The mortican holds Rincewinds wrist and takes his pulse. Rincewind should use the manequins wooden arm in place of his.

Wooden Arm

This is on the manequin at Mrs Cakes. Rincewind should saw it off.

Saw

This is picked up in the Shades.

Body Temperature

This is the final test. The mortician shoves a huge thermometer under Rincewinds robe and obviously up his backside. Rincewind should use the ice on himself before he lays on the slab.

Ice

This is found in the Pork Futures Warehouse, which can only be entered via the sewers. The pick must be used to break some off. It melts after a certain time in the luggage.

Pick

This is found at the cemetary.

Rincewind can now show the dead collector his death certificate, at which point he will be carted to the ship and tossed on board with the other corpses. The ship then sets sail and we cut to the Discworld map. After the ship sails a little way, we then cut back in close to the helm of the ship, where the captain is merrily steering on course. We then see hands appearing on deck, both skeletal and human. The dead have risen, led by a zombie-like Rincewind. The captain screams and jumps into the water, swimming madly away. Rincewind is now in charge and he has a real skeleton crew. Rincewind heads to the mysterious continent of XXXX and strides onto Bonedie Beach like Captain Cook. Death can be found on the beach, but he is very depressed and will need convincing of his mythical status and use to society. Rincewind then has the bright idea of making an advertisement about how great Death is. He will turn Death into a star. After a quick talk with Dibbler, Rincewind ends up at Holy Wood, his task to make a clickie about Death. Dibbler sends him off to get the essentials - a gorgeous babe, a catchy jingle and a band to sing it, and some novelty merchandise. He will also need to help Death get made up correctly. Once Rincewind has accomplished all of this he becomes a clickie camera man and shoots the advertisement to end all advertisements. The game now opens up with the locations of Djelibeybi, Holy Wood and Bonedie Beach being available.

Novelty giveaways

Now, coincidentally there is a big warehouse at the docks with the word NOVELTIES painted on its wall in big bold letters. Unfortunately there are no doors, windows or other visible means of access to the interior of the warehouse. To get in, Rincewind must smash down the wall. This is accomplished by attaching a big weight to the crane arm and using it as a demolition ball. The novelties turn out to be those glass snow scene paper weights.

Big Weight

This is a looney toons style weight (ie. a fake one with 1 ton written on it) found at Holy Wood. Alas, when used it almost breaks through, but is not quite heavy enough. What Rincewind must do is stick a 10 over the 1, making it into a 10 ton weight. It then smashes the wall.

Ten Sticker

This is also found in Holy Wood, being the street number stuck on an obviously fake mail box outside an even more obviously fake house.

Gorgeous babe

This is obviously our Marilyn milkmaid. She is no longer in the Ankh-Morpork plaza, but there is a caravan with a star on its door. Seems like a good place to start, but alas the, door is locked. Golly gosh, now isnt that a shame! Rincewind can however talk to the Holy Wood security guard (a Troll), and find out that he has a key. Initially things look bad, and it starts to dawn on the player that this is going to be another of those hideously long quests, involving object collection, usage and incredible lateral thinking, just to get a dumb key. But even Rincewinds wits are better than a trolls and by some decidedly dicey logic, Rincewind cons the key out of the troll. A victory for adventure game players everywhere! Rincewind proudly strides to the caravan and opens the door. Shock, horror, the caravan is really only a facade. The milkmaid is indeed there, but Rincewind could have simply walked around the front facade to reach her. A victory for game designers everywhere! Anyway, if Rincewind talks to the milkmaid she will agree to be in his clickie if he can get her some more of her little friends. She lovingly caresses her diamond ring when she says this. It is quite clear that Rincewind must pay her with diamonds.

Diamonds

Because of his long conversation with the troll security guard, Rincewind will have noticed his teeth, and he can also ask the troll about them. It turns out that a trolls teeth are actually diamonds. So heres the starting point, but how does one get a trolls teeth? Now, the player will surely remember that one of the items on Gimlets menu was an expensive candy rock, the most treasured of all troll desserts. If Rincewind goes and asks Gimlet for some, he will have unfortunately sold out. He says it is hard to come by but he sometimes gets it imported from Djelibeybi.

Candy Rock

On the outskirts of Djelibeybi is a stalling selling rocks (stonings being as popular as they are, you know). This is the beginning of a sequence which is an unashamed (strikethrough: ripoff) tribute to a similar scene in The Life of Brian. Anyway, lo and behold there is a big piece of rock candy on the stall, and after some really good Scottish style haggling, Rincewind gets the price down to something he can afford. But just as he is handing over the money, a fanatical clumpof M & S sale style women shoppers dash in, hand over money and dash off with the rock.

There is nothing Rincewind can do to get the rock off her. It turns out that stonings are a popular sport here, and the women are waiting for the next stoning to use the rock (of course this is only hinted at, because as we all know women are not allowed at stonings). There is only one thing left for Rincewind to do - arrange a stoning.

The Stoning

At the end of the path beyond the rock stall is the stoning area. There is a stake in the ground for tying the (strikethrough: targets) accused to (none of those wimpy affairs here where the (strikethrough: target) accused falls down after a few rocks are thrown).

Now a little bit of lateral thinking is required here. This should have been helped along by Rincewind having run into a suffrajester a few times already in the game. A suffrajester is a woman who wants the right to be a fool (ie. the professional variety of fool). Basically she goes around tying herself to anything and everything she can, before launching into a tirade of bad jokes (a tied up routine if you will). Her slogan is women want the joke.

Currently the suffrajester is in the University garden tied to a dovecote. Rincewind must pull the stoning area stake out of the ground and plant it in the compost heap next to the dovecote in the university garden. Rincewind will then automatically hide behind a hedge. We will see the suffrajester look longingly at the stake for awhile, like a child plucking up courage to steal an apple. She will then quickly untie herself from the dovecote and just as quickly tie herself to the stake.

Rincewind can then simply pull at the stake with her tied to it, and toss it in the luggage (the only penalty being that the player has to listen to the suffrajesters tied up routine everytime he opens the luggage inventory).

All Rincewind has to do then is plant the stake with the suffrajester attached back in the stoning area. What follows is a cut scene where Rincewind more or less plays the John Cleese role from the stoning scene in Life of Brian. He directs the action at the stoning. A clump of men appear, looking remarkedly like all the Djelibeybi women that Rincewind has seen, with big beards stuck on and rather false deep voices. Anyway, Rincewind reads out a proclaimation stating that the suffrajester is accused of saying jokes in vain (Djelibeybians have a thing about bad jokes not unlike the thing in Brian about using the messiahs name in vain). Of course somebody casts an early rock and gets disciplined by Rincewind, who then inadvertantly says a bad joke and eventually ends up being stoned himself, the final irony being that the huge candy rock is dumped on top of him on the ground. At least he has what he was after anyway.

Trolls Teeth

Rincewind can now give the troll the rock candy. The troll cant resist temptation and gobbles it up, chewing heavily. Almost immediately he starts complaining about tooth ache. Looks like Rincewind will have to pull his teeth. This is done by connecting a strong piece of rope between the trolls teeth and the doorknob on the milkmaids caravan facade nearby (which Rincewind at least has the key for). Rincewind can then pull the diamond teeth out while the troll howls like a cry baby. He can then give the diamonds to the milkmaid who is of course still behind the caravan facade anyway.

Rope

After the stoning fiasco, the suffrajester untied herself and dashed off after making her apologies, leaving the rope behind on the ground around the stake. A rather easy hint on how to wrap this quest up.

Jingle

Rincewind must look for a song write or failing that a philosopher. Djelibeybi is a good starting point (for some reasons philosophers tend to hang out in dry sandy places). It turns out that a famous philosopher (S.T. Ungulant) lives on a cartwheel on a post in the desert.

Getting Into the Desert

Rincewind cant walk far into the desert, so some other form of transport is necessary. There is a used camel salesyard in Djelibeybi, sporting some rather dilapidated old camels.

Getting a Camel

There is a camel salesyard in Djelibeybi. Just rent one.

Finding S.T. Ungulant

Once on the camel, Rincewind (followed by the luggage) can go into the desert and onto another screen. There are a few landmarks, one of which is the ancient philosopher. He is indeed sitting on a cartwheel on a post, and he is quite mad.

Surprisingly enough he is quite excited about writing a jingle about Death, and swipes a quill and some paper out of his loin cloth, and starts scribbling frantically. Eventually he is finished and holds up his masterpiece, but like a selfish child he wont give Rincewind the jingle. The player is again frustrated.

Anyway it turns out that this old guy gets heaps of disciples coming out to find him and ask him the ultimate question - Whats the answer to why. Hes sick of it and wont give Rincewind his jingle until Rincewind supplies him with the answer!

Why?

Now, coincidentally, there is a computer in the High Energy Facility called HEX. The apprentice wizards have told Rincdewind that HEX can answer any question, if given enough ants and time. In the first Act however, Rincewind had accidentally let most of the ants escape when he had tugged off the test tube to put the blood in. Hence the first thing that Rincewind must do is get more ants.

Ants

Rincewind must have a picnic on the ant hill at Bonedie Beach. The ants will then teem all over him and his food. To have a picnic he must first collect a picnic hamper full of food, and then lay it out on the ant hill.

Hamper Basket

This is found at point me own bone Dibblers souvenir shop on XXXX.

Food

This is in the Unseen University dining room. Simply collect it all in the basket.

Time

Once Rincewind has put the ants into the computer, the apprentices punch a card with a strange device and insert the card into a slot. The ants start to move around the tubes and the computer starts whirring away. Rincewind proudly surveys his work and asks how long before he gets an answer. Skazz pulls out a Discworld calculator and taps away on the mini rock slabs, before saying two million, .... years. Rincewind is aghast. What can he do?

He must somehow accelerate time. Now, if he has visited the pyramid architect, the player will have learned about the strange way in that pyramids can manipulate time. They can reverse time, stall time and especially accelerate time.

Pyramid

Rincewind can purchase the schematics for building a pyramid from the local architect in Djelibeybi. These blueprints show that all he needs is eight equal length pieces of metal. When he uses these pieces of metal on the blueprints, he will contruct a small Californian-style pyramid.

Rincewind then need only put the pyramid over the computer to accelerate the process. We cut to our close-up and see the generations of ants living and dying as they go about their programmed meanderings.

Pyramid Blueprints

This can be obtained at the architects in Djelibeybi.

Metal Pieces

These are in fact the eight croquet hoops from the university garden. The wizards are now gone, so Rincewind can gather them. They will need straightening however.

Uri Geller

Uri is a guy in a stall in the Djelibeybi bazaar, who can start hourglasses and straighten metal objects. He will quite happily straighten the croquet hoops.

The Answer

The answer is quite simple. The card says ....because.

Make-up

Once Rincewind has brought Death to Holy Wood, Death spends the rest of the pre-shoot in the make-up chair. The make-up girl is your typical Hollywood piece of flimsical zaniness. Everytime Rincewind visits, she is trying some new style of make-up, but what can one do with a skeleton with a poor dress sense, I ask you? She tells Rincewind that if he wants Death to look the goods, hell have to get a picture of the elven queen. She is reputed to have such a way with make-up that nobody can resist her glamour. Therefore Rincewind must get a camera (equiped with an imp of course).

Camera

This is available at the imp handlers in Holy Wood. It has no imp in it however. The imp trainer tells Rincewind that he can have the lazy imp sleeping on the water tank. He gives it a taste of whip, but it wakes up, dodges past him, covers itself from head to foot with some SFX paint and then runs into the scenery!

Rincewind must retrieve it. The solution is to paint the boomerang with the SFX paint and throw it into the scenery at the imp. It returns with the imp intact.

Boomerang

This is given to Rincewind at Bonedie Beach.

Finding the Elven World

Talk to Granny Weatherwax. In the first act she could be seen lying prone on a slab in the mortuary, a sign on her chest proclaiming I atent dead. When Rincewind finds her this time, she is still in the mortuary, but Casanunder has gotten his ladder out and is serenading her. We see the raven fly in and go a bit dazed as Granny awakes. It turns out that she has been in mind possession of the raven. Upon awaking she is mortified to see Casanunder, and he will not leave her alone.

Granny will tell Rincewind anything if only he will get rid of this pesky dwarf. All Rincewind has to do is give Casanunder the names of the clump of women in Djelibeybi (once he has been there and seen them of course).

Anyway, when Rincewind gets Granny in a state to talk to, she informs him that elves should not be disturbed at any cost. She does however tell him about the dancers, the circle of stones guarding the entrance to the elven kingdom (which now appears on the world map).

Rincewind can try and get into the elven domain via the stone circle (the luggage cannot get through so Rincewind must carry anything that is needed). However, the elves will chase him straight back out. Observant players will hear the elves talking about the queens pet being on the other side. Rincewind can ask Granny about the pet and she will tell him that it is a unicorn. Hence, disguising him as a unicorn is the way in.

Unicorn

Rincewind must find a horse suit, stick a horn on it and then find somebody to partner him in it.

Horse Suit

This is in the wardobe department at the Holy Wood. Rincewind cant afford it but the wardrobe woman will swap it for a piece of Djelibeybian jewelry.

Jewelry

This is the ring on the finger of a severed arm of a mummy. It is in the possession of the bickering buzzards in the desert oasis. Rincewind must take the wooden arm (from Mrs Cakes dummy), wrap it in mummy bandages and swap it for the real arm. Hints will clearly lead the player along this path.

Bandages

These can be cut (use scissors) from the mummy in the pyramid interior.

Scissors

Found in Mrs Cakes.

Horn

This is the clown hooter found in the rubble at the demolished fools guild. It must be glued on.

Glue

This is the embalming glue found in the great pyramid in Djelibeybi. Partner

This is the Librarian, found in the dining room. He will agree to be the front end.

The Band

When Rincewind returns his jingle to Dibbler, he is told that he will need a band. The band is supplied by Bone Idle and his allstar skeleton band (Frankie, Bing and Dino). Bone looks remarkedly like Eric Idle, especially considering that hes... well bones actually. He even does a good whistle, apart from the odd times when his jaw falls out. Bone and his band are found manacled to trees on the Djelibeybi outskirts (sort of reminiscent of that film, what was it Life of ...). They are constantly lapsing into their versions of famous songs, doing some rather good Sinatra, Crosby and Martin impersonations.

Getting the Band Down

The band readily agree to help Rincewind. The only snag is that he must get them down from the crosses. This simply requires a hammer to pull the nails out with.

Hammer

Found in the architects shop in Djelibeybi.

Once Rincewind has collected all his goodies and also given the make-up artist a look at the shots of the queen, we are ready to shoot the advertisement. The first half goes well, but then Death balks at a rather dangerous scene. It looks like a stunt double is needed.

The stunt double

This skeleton can be found in a closet at Reg Shoes. Not only is it the proverbial skeleton in the closet, but it is also the proverbial black sheep of the family, ie. yes, it is the skeleton of a black sheep. We have a stunt double that not only has a habit of walking on all fours, but will occasionally lapse into the odd baa. It will agree to help Rincewind if he can find proof of the sheeps ancestors (see dialogue). It is rumoured that they went to the XXXX continent.

Proof

This is a photograph of some cave paintings of black sheep in XXXX.

Cave

This can only be found by surfing to the hidden beach at Bonedie. Surfboard

This is actually in the wardrobe at Mrs Cakes. It is an ironing board. First Rincewind will need to saw off the legs. However, once Rincewind finally starts surfing, he always falls off. The solution is to apply some glue to either Rincewind or the surf board. When Rincewind finally finishes his clickie he takes it to the projection room in the Clickie Theatre in Ankh-Morpork, where it is edited and spliced together. We then cut the premiere opening of the new commercial. Spotlights illuminate the night sky. Famous and not so famous Discworld celebrities file into the theatre. Fans cheer, a "Discworld Tonight" bimbo interviews all and sundry. There is even a stretch-donkey cart carrying the wizards. The stalls are filled to capacity. Popcorn and programs are for sale (guess who). The librarian is flicking peanuts at unsuspecting people. Finally the curtain draws back and the clickie begins. It is accompanied by the band giving their rendition of "Thats Death". We have the lyrics being sung. The clickie is a sickly, all singing, all dancing American-style commercial. The clickie is an abysmal failure. The audience begins heckling, booing and throwing (the librarian best of all). Rincewind must do more. Rincewind has been watching all of this from the projection room in the theater. The player is now confined to this room until he or she figures out what to do next. Rincewind can replay the clickie as often as he wants. There is also a splicing machine in the room. What Rincewind must do is splice the film of the elf queen with his advertisement, making the Discworlds first subliminal cut. The clickie is shown once again to the booing audience. Gradually the booing ceases and they all sit bolt upright, a look of unadulterated adoration on their faces. They love Death. They are his fans, his groupies. Anyway, the bottom line is that Death has become so popular, that he no longer needs his day job. There are even campaigns of Death for Patrician. Furthermore, to the average Discworld guy, there is now only way for them to meet their idol... ! Once again Rincewind has created a mess greater than that which he started with. We go outside and The Death of Rats appears yet again, and this time he is extremely adament that Rincewind must now accept his responsibilities before things get way out of hand. A big white horse has also appeared. It gives Rincewind a knowing nudge. Ever so reluctant, Rincewind really has no choice but to mount the horse and hope for the best. There is barely enough time for the Grim Squeaker to hop on Rincewinds shoulder, before Binky takes off in a furious gallop, leaving a burning trail of hoof prints behind. The sky makes a thunderous noise and tears apart, Binky going through the torn hole like the Enterprise going into hyperspace, the only difference being a last second frantic dive and the sensation of a metal-bound chest clinging on to the horses tail.

Act 3

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We start the Act with a cut scene of the patrician in a whispering conspiracy with the chief of assassins (the sinister shape that we saw in the introduction). It seems that a very special contract is being taken out. For Rincewind however, this act starts in a black stable in a black world - Deaths world. Everything in Deaths domain is recreated here, the house and all of its nonfunctional components, the garden, the orchards, the beehives, the fish pond full of skeletal fish, the skeletal garden gnomes, the corn fields and of course Susans swing. Rincewind will no doubt explore everywhere, but initially the most important place is the kitchen. This is where Albert is, and only he can instruct Rincewind on what he must do to become a viable Death. Albert is very sarcastic with Rincewind, and much like the old man in The Karate Kid, he sets Rincewind a set of chores that he must do to learn the trade of Death. He must learn to ride Binky, learn the scythe and get a robe.

Riding the horse

Binky is in the stable. He is not friendly at all with Rincewind. Rincewind must make friends with Binky by giving him some sugar cubes. He must then saddle him and ride him (click on the saddle against the wall). All goes well, but then Albert sneaks on and gives Binky a good jab, which causes him to buck Rincewind off. The solution is to put some glue on the saddle before putting it on Binky. This is a follow up from the surfing expedition.

Sugar

This is on the kitchen table. However, Albert will not let Rincewind take it. Rincewind must get rid of Albert first.

Getting Rid of Albert

Rincewind should ring the pull rope servants bell in Deaths study. It rings in the kitchen and Albert will answer.

The robe

This is simply a curtain from the entrance hall. Albert will point out that it is not black enough. Rincewind must put the ink from Deaths ink well into the pond in the garden and dip the robe in the pond and dye it.

Ink Well

This is on Deaths desk.

THE VOICE

Rincewind must acquire a deep echoey capital letters sort of voice before Albert will accept him as Death. He can fool Death by opening the oven, climbing on the roof and talking down the chimney.

Climbing on to the roof

Rincewind must use the boomerang with some rope, and hook it on the chimney outside the house, just like a bat-erang really.

Rope

This is found in the stable.

Wielding a scythe

Rincewind must first find a scythe. Then Albert will tell him to reap the corn. Rincewind will try a couple of ears, but the task is obviously to big. He must cheat and make a small combine harvester, in this case one that looks like a lawn mower.

Scythe

This is found in the stable.

Lawn Mower / Combine Harvester

This is the scythe blade connected to the front Susans toy cart.

Toy Cart

This is in the garden with Susan. Susan will not let Rincewind have it until he gives her a Life book to look at, which is hidden away in the Long Lifer Alcove. Initially Rincewind may give her his, but she will only laugh, so he goes off to get her a really old one.

Finding the Book

Rincewind must unlock the alcove door and then use a candle to see what he is doing and which book to take.

Key

This is actually under the welcome mat at the front door.

Candles

Rincewind learnt how to make candles (dribbly or otherwise) in act 1. He will need to gather the wax as per normal and use it with some string for the wicks. Before gatehring the wax he will need to find a veil and some way of making smoke.

Veil

This is Susans lacey night gown, hidden in the bunny rabbit on her bed. Pick up the bunny rabbit, then use it (double click on it) in the inventory. You will find the pajamas inside.

Smoke

This is created by burning Alberts oily rag (pot holder), found in the kitchen.

Once Rincewind has finished all the quests and proven himself to a completely disbelieving Albert, there is one more surprise in store. Albert sarcastically sets Rincewind the task of collecting 100 souls. Only then will he be a viable Death. Again Rincewind can cheat. If he remembers earlier in the game when talking to Skazz, he mentioned that his previous set of ants in the computer had been killed. Now, if Rincewind checks Deaths ledger on his desk, he will see that the last souls collected were these very same ants. Now in the garden there is a pit where all the souls are sent to go to their next worlds. Rincewind can see lots of little dots slowly spiralling into oblivion. Rincewind will probably remember from the previous act how to attract ants - honey. Rincewind should lower a pot of honey on the end of a fishing line. The ant souls will be caught and can be reeled in.

Honey

This is obtained from the hives in the garden, exactly the same way as in the first act. Rincewind will need to use the veil and smoke.

Fishing Rod

This is in the hands of one of the skeletal gnomes in the garden.

Once Rincewind is Death, we are shown a similar sequence to that at the start of the game, with the exception that Rincewinds role is really a parody of Rambo this time. Albert comes into the study and hands Rincewind a big hourglass - Deaths. Rincewind prepares himself in a clumsy fashion, his robe being to big, his scythe being to big and his ability to successfully mount Binky being in severe doubt. The shots that we see interspersed with Rincewind preparing are only to familiar however. The sinister shape (or as we now know the chief assassin) is placing another time bomb under a stage. A wider shot reveals that it is the stage where the original Death is soon to perform. This sequence alternates between Rincewind trying to get his act together and Death going on stage and the sand in the hourglass on the bomb draining away. The cuts get progressively faster and the tension mounts (somewhat more successfully than Rincewind it must be said). Finally it snaps and the bomb going off. Binky skids to a halt and Rincewind tumbles off just as the aftermath of the explosion calms down. A hail of bones hit the ground, hundreds of them. There is stunned silence. A skull rolls to a stop at Rincewinds feet. It finishes delivering the punch line to the gag that we heard Death start just he exploded (this had better be a good gag is all I can say now). There is another beats worth of silence and the skull begins a slightly hammy death scene (although it must be said probably the only genuine death scene ever done). The Death of Rats and his feathered translator appear, the skull proving to be a good perch. A rough translation of the ensuing series of squeaks is that we and Rincewind are informed that Death really is dying. While Rincewind has been becoming more deathly, Death has been becoming more mortal. There is little time left. Rincewind will soon have to collect Deaths soul and he will then take his place forever, a state of affairs which nobody wants. Rincewind must save Deaths life. But how...?

Act 4

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In this act, the player is rudely interrupted by a rite similar to that we saw in Act 1 to summon Death. This time the wizards are summoning up Death for their own ends. In the previous act, the player will have learned about a prospector in Djelibeybi who it is rumoured has found the fountain of youth. This character is the only real new thing in the game, being found at the camel hitching rail outside Djelibeybi. The first thing that most players will do is use the water from the Fountain of Youth. A good idea, but unfortunately the water in the fountain turns out to be rancid, and when Death drinks it his condition worsens somewhat. However, the player and Rincewind are certainly on the right track. Everything points towards the Fountain of Youth. The only new object to be found in the game is Deaths XXXX hat with corks on, which he was wearing on stage at the time that the explosion occurred. It is singed and tattered, but at least one cork is in good condition.

Fountain of Youth

The Fountain of Youth is found by following the old timer who disappears every so into the desert from Djelibeybi. This old timer, it turns out, is well over 300 years old, hence he must know where the fountain is. If Rincewind trys to follow him directly, he always loses him in terrain where a little dot just cant be seen.

The solution is to put the rotting mummys arm in the old timers camel saddle bag. This will mean that where ever he goes, he will be circled by the two buzzards who are rather attached to that arm (nb. the vultures have been circling Rincewind ever since he picked up the arm).

This is all that the clever player needs to finish the game. Rincewind must go to the Fountain of Youth and use the cork in it to block the water from bubbling out. The sand in the fountain will quickly dry and can be used to replenish Deaths almost empty hourglass. That is the secret of the Fountain of Youth. It is the sand that extends life. Anyway, after Rincewind fills the hourglass, we cut back to the stage where Deaths bones are scattered. In a direct take-off of a scene in Terminator II (where the liquid metal Terminator reforms after being destroyed), a finger bone moves slightly to join with a hand bone, then more bones move across the stage and join up. Finally all the bones are joined with the skull and Death is whole again. He is back and he is not in a good mood at all. The action fades slowly back to the Fountain of Youth where Rincewind is sleeping under a palm tree now that the game is virtually over. A sinister shape is sneaking up behind him. It puts a timebomb crudely disguised as a coconut on an hourglass beside Rincewind and dashes off. He continues to sleep. We go in right in close behind the bomb and watch the sand drain through the hourglass supporting the coconut shaped bomb. Suddenly there is a swish of metal and the coconut goes flying from view. We cut back to a long shot of the area and see the coconut land way over beyond a dune, right on top of a small but rapidy moving sinister shape. This is quickly followed by an explosion. After a few beats we pan back and see Death standing near Rincewind, scythe back over his shoulder, the ideal follow through for a good 3-iron shot. Death relaxes and scans where his shot landed, hand to skull. After a slight pause, he says something like Oh bugger. I forgot to say four..

The game is over. Let the credits roll...

Epilogue

We dissolve to Rincewind in the projection room at the clickie theatre. He puts his feet up and lays back, very smug and self satisfied. Meanwhile, we see in the background, that the game credits are playing on the theatre screen to a packed house of Discworld characters. We cut to the theatre interior so as we can watch the credits in comfort.

Suddenly something goes wrong and the picture breaks up and the sound goes wonky. The crowd start heckling. We cut back to the projection room and we see Rincewind wake up abruptly from his day dream. In a panic he realises that the film has broken and he quickly splices it back together. The pictures rights itself and the credits continue. The game players out there heave a longing sigh, thinking that that was the final gag in a great game. We see "THE END" come up on screen...

Then a frame of the Fairy Queen appears briefly, soon to be followed by another and then yet more. Rincewind has spliced on the wrong piece of film in his panic. This is no longer subliminal. It is one continuous shot of the Fairy Queen. So much glamour, so much magic, a screen can only take so much...

A 12 foot tall Fairy Queen bursts out of the clickie projection screen. The crowd panic like in a scene from "The Blob". The Fairy Queen grabs the librarian and glides out of the theatre. We cut to the city map and watch a mad end of game chase scene as the Fairy Queen is pursued across Ankh-Morpork by Rincewind, finally to stop at Unseen University. We then cut to Unseen University and there she is, climbing the art tower, the screaming librarian under one arm. She finally stands atop the tower, lightning at her back, the terrified librarian being held up in defiance. This is King Kong in reverse. In fact we will use the camera shots from the original so as nobody misses this point.

Rincewind must find something to negate the clickie Fairy Queen's glamour, if he wants to rescue his buddy. This, it turns out is plain old water. Rincewind can grab a handfull of the balloons that Dibbler is selling. He then needs just fill them with water from the canteen to have some real handy bombs, especially useful for mussing up hair and making mascara run - just the thing to counter glamour.

Then he must grab a broomstick from under Granny Weatherwaxs nose (talk her into mind melding with the raven again), kick start it, fall off a few times and then fly up and defeat the clickie Fairy Queen, just like an aeroplane gunner against a huge ape basically.

After a nice little dogfight cut scene, Rincewind will hit the Fairy Queen on the head with a water bomb. Her make-up will run, her hair will mess up and her glamour will fade and she will topple, the librarian desperately grabbing a foothold. Like very fast ants on their hind legs, the crowd scatter in panic as the fairy queen falls. Just before we see her hit ground, we notice that there is only one ant remaining, seemingly oblivious to any danger.

There is a pause for a few beats and we then hear Windle Poons enquiring about why it is so dark. A monotone capital letter sort of voice informs him that a woman fell on top of him. Windle thinks about this for awhile before responding. This was obviously a way of committing suicide that he had not considered before. With a deft swing of his scythe, Death severs the umbilical cord connecting Windle to his soul. Death and Windles soul walk off together chatting merrily away The game is now really over.

Walkthrough provided by Perfect Entertainment

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